Alright you knuckleheads, I’m back with updates from the best Summer concert tour, the Rockstar Mayhem Festival brought to you by the fine fine folks at Rockstar Energy Drinks and Revolver Magazine!  (Just because this is a metal show, this doesn’t mean every fat, sweaty hillbilly needs to take their shirts off.)

This year featured an amazing lineup:

• Winds of Plague
• 3 Inches of Blood
• Shadows Fall
• Norma Jean
• Chimaira
• Atreyu
• In this Moment
• Hatebreed
• Five Finger Death Punch
• Lamb of God
• Rob Zombie
• Korn

Now, most of these bands I’ve seen before.  This is not a bad thing.  This is the most exciting line-up thus far from the Mayhem Fest and most of these bands really brought there game to Virginia Beach.  Let’s give out the awards, shall we?

The longest dreads in metal award goes to…Shadows Fall!  Brian Fair’s dreads are so long that when he spins them around he actually get airborne.  This is not a joke or an exaggeration by any means.

The not on my shoes bro award goes to…My Brother!  Don’t know if it was the heat, the Rockstar he shot gunned or dehydration but my brother decided that everything in his stomach…needed to exit immediatently…and not in an orderly fashion.  Isn’t a great festival if atleast one person I’m with isn’t hurling.

The best up an coming band award goes to..Winds of Plague!  One of the few bands I’ve never seen before…but I’m glad I did.  Amazing dudes, you have to check them out!

The intermission stand-up comedian award goes to…Big Jay Oakerson!  A funny man that I know a lot of people have never heard of.  His comedy is not only funny, it will also make you feel very….very dirty.  Did a great job performing between bands, and hanging out with fans.

Keeping old school metal alive aware goes to…3 Inches of Blood!  A great band that was frozen in time in 1984 and revived just a few years ago.  If you’ve never listened to them and are fans of Halford or even Iron Maiden you should check out 3 Inches of Blood.  I’ve been a fan of them for a while, and have never seen them alive and I was blown away.  Such a good time.

Greatest disappointment award goes to…Atreyu!  This band was once in my top ten, now…not so much.  Their first two CDs were absolutely amazing, and their live shows were even better.  They dropped Victory Records, proceeded to make a couple shitty albums and here they are.  They still play their old songs, and I get excited…but I’m quickly shot down due to the fact that singer Alex Varkatzas is unable to sing his own songs anymore.  Sorry if you’re a fan, but I’m not one.  The good news is, everybody else that played was AMAZING!

Best stage set goes to…Korn!  They had a stellar set.  If you weren’t able to catch a date on this tour, it had a huge oil field backdrop with giant, moving oil rigs on stage.  It was very original and well done.  Ironically, they were protesting BP due to the spill so I’m not sure if there was a motive behind this all…

Our last award goes to best performance.  This award goes to…Rob Zombie!  Giant robots and all.  He really gave this performance all he could.  Easily, he could of headlined the entire tour over Korn in my opinion.  Unfortunately, there were some monitor issues so he was delayed coming on and had to end his set early.  He did play most of his best hits including several off of the new album.  Sure, he may be a little full of himself but with a performance like the one he put on…he’s allowed to be.

I hope everybody was able to check out the tour for themselves, and if not you need to check out next years which I’m sure will not disappoint.  This goes down as the best Mayhem Fest to date.  Remember, if you have any hate mail or comments send them my way at LilNubi@RoyalFlushMagazine.Com!