Palin Porno:  What Took So Long?

If you think her winking is hot, you should see her ping-pong ball trick!  Sadly for us, it’s not actually Sarah Palin…or Tina Fey for that matter.  It’s actually a super hot chick named Lisa Anne who is so nicely pictured on the right.

The film will be titled “Nailin Paylin” and has been confirmed by Hustler.  Whether Palin is elected as the next vice president or not, we all win here.

According to several reports, she will be pleasuring all of the fine Russians who come knocking on her Alaskan back door…if you know what I mean.

I have no doubt that this will end up being a super fantastic film that we can all enjoy roughing up the ol’ suspect too.

Hustler put an ad out on the cesspool known as Craigslist in which Lisa Anne replied back too.  Apparently out of all the submissions, she looked the most like Sarah Palin which I can kinda see…just have to put her hair up, toss some glasses on and I guess that’s that.  Such an easy Halloween costume for all you cheap ladies out there.  This film will be shot in the next 10 days.

Paylin will not be alone of course.  She’ll have the pleasure of working with a couple of political broads.  A Hillary Clinton and Condoleezza Rice look alikes have been casted.  As of now I am unable to say who is playing Condoleezza in the film.  Nina Hartley will be playing the role of Hillary Clinton.  Because I’m such a great guy, for your viewing pleasure I have posted a picture of Mrs. Hartley on the left.  She may be the at the crisp age of 49, but I wouldn’t kick her out of bed.

That is all for now folks, feel free to leave some comments below or send me some hate mail at LilNubi@RoyalFlushMagazine.Com.

I’m Lil Nubi and remember, life is to short to live the same day twice so instead of a blond, get yourself a nice brunette tonight!

There has been a disturbing trend in American movies lately. I sure some of you have been feeling it too. What happened to the stupid catchphrases? Your, “Show me the money,” or your “Life is like a box of chocolates.” What the fuck am I supposed to say to people to convey that I am a sheep that needs herding? That I have no real sense of humor? or that I am not fit for decent society? These new movies offer me nothing in the way of campy punchline phrases. Hollywood, please help us.

1. “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Toto.” – misquote from The Wizard of Oz; the actual dialogue is “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.” Generally invoked when someone is feeling out of his or her element. This film also gave us “I’ll get you, my pretty! And your little dog too!”
2. “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.” – Don Corleone in The Godfather. Used to assure someone that you can get what you want out of a third party.
3. “May the Force be with you!” – attributed to Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars although Han Solo and General Dodonna were the only characters in the film to say the line. The closest Guinness came to saying it was, “The Force will be with you, always.” Used in place of “good luck”.
4. “We Don’t need no stinkin’ badges!” The original quote is “Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges. I don’t have to show you any stinking badges,” in Treasure of the Sierra Madre. Say this when you feel that you don’t need to justify your authority.
5. “If you build it, they will come” – from the mysterious voice to Kevin Costner in Field of Dreams. The actual phrase in the movie was “If you build it, he (meaning Shoeless Joe Jackson) will come.” Used in the real world to describe any ambitious plan that requires a large initial investment.
6. “Follow the money.” – Deep Throat in All The President’s Men. Used when investigating high-profile scandals.
7. “Here’s looking at you, kid”- Rick in Casablanca. A toast when you can’t think of any other. This movie also gave us the famous misquote of “Play it again, Sam.”
8. “Houston, we have a problem.” – Jim Lovell in Apollo 13. This is a paraphrasing of the original quote from Jack Swigert which was “Okay, Houston, we’ve had a problem here.” Heard when a project is not going according to plan
9. “I’ll be back.” – The Terminator in T2. Used when you are leaving and plan to return.
10. “Show me the money!” – From Jerry Maguire. Say this when you want someone to back up his or her talk with real results. Actually, don’t say this; it’s obnhoxious.