Category: Film

Uh Oh No Ho-Hos….In School!

Here’s an apple. But I want a cupcake. But here’s an apple. But I want a cupcake. But here’s an apple. But I want a cupcake. But here’s an apple. But I want a cupcake.

Sorry kids, no junk food in school anymore.

Can’t Buy Love But You Can Buy A Role In Spiderman 4!

Can’t Buy Love But You Can Buy A Role In Spiderman 4!

Sure you can see the movie for $10, but you might as well spend $5000 and take part in it!

Transformers

Transformers

I finally saw the Transformers movie. It’s amazing how they could turn a cartoon that was designed to sell toys into a movie that in the end is designed to sell more toys! I heard a now drunk and fat He-Man will be starring in a reality show with his wife She-Ra where she nags him about how she could’ve married “Greyskull” money. – Paul Cress

Rush Hour Three Karate Chops the Competition

Rush Hour Three Karate Chops the Competition

America enjoys repetition. People want the same thing everywhere you go: When you travel to even the far reaches of the earth, there’s always a McDonald’s. In 2004, people screamed for change and Bush still got re-elected. And now people flock to Rush Hour three to see the same movie they saw in 1998 and 2001. I suppose people enjoy seeing two races come together by insulting another race. Ahh France, the last bastion of...

Where are my catchphrases?

Where are my catchphrases?

There has been a disturbing trend in American movies lately. I sure some of you have been feeling it too. What happened to the stupid catchphrases? Your, “Show me the money,” or your “Life is like a box of chocolates.” What the fuck am I supposed to say to people to convey that I am a sheep that needs herding? That I have no real sense of humor? or that I am not fit for...