Celebs + Wrestlemania = H.H.C.C.W.

We love pro wrestling, we’re also quite fond of D-List celebrities. What do you get when you combine the two? You guys get Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling.

This pile-driving wrestling phenomena will be tossing 10 of our most favorite celebrity nobodies into a ring in which they’ll duel each other to become the Celebrity Championship Wrestling Champion, in which we still won’t give a damn about. I heard about this a month or two ago but I didn’t want to report on it till it was somewhat official.

Who are these icons of the small screen? Here’s the rundown…

Danny Bonaduce, the famed child star with a drug problem returns to yet another reality show where there will no longer be any consequences for flipping Jonny Fairplay onto his face (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check the video below…suckas). There will be 9 other celebs trying to Break Bonaduce…get it…like the show Breaking Bonaduce? Haha…yeah…

Next up we have Todd Bridges, one of my personal favorite coke heads. Mr. Bridges, another former child stars will finally be able to tell us what Willis is actually talking about. Here is a little warning too ya, Johnnie Cochran won’t be able to bail you out of this one.

Entering from New York City, New York we have Frank Stallone. No longer will he be able to follow in the foot steps of his much more charismatic brother Sylvester Stallone. Hopefully he was paying attention during the filming of the Rocky movies…who am I kidding? We all know he wasn’t.

Here we have an actual legit boxer, Butterbean. This super-heavyweight boxer more than likely has more experience than all of the other contestants combined; unfortunately, he is old and somewhat obese. Go Butterbean!

Bewitchingly (yeah, I made it up) we have Erin Murphy. She played the pint sized witch Tabitha, spawn of the hottest witch I’ve ever seen Samantha. She is going to have to do a lot more than to be cute and wiggle her nose now to win this one.

Now the hottest of them all is Nikki Ziering. A former Playboy model will be attempting the smother her opponents in those wonderful melons of hers. Some people have all the luck. At least I will still be able to touch myself to the images of her and Erin Murphy on top of each other.

Here we have a reality star turned Playboy model Trishelle Cannatella. You may remember her from Real World Vegas, she was the slut. I know that really doesn’t narrow it down but you’ll have to Google her. I’m sure you little pervs aren’t the first to Google Trishelle.

We all know the next participant, NBA legend Dennis Rodman. Dennis is actually a fan of professional wrestling. His wedding dress wearing self will be proving to us all if he still deserves a spot on primetime telemundo (for those of you who don’t hable español, telemundo is Spanish for television.

80’s popstar Tiffany was invited to prove that the 80’s really are making a comeback. Not so much I guess. I’ve wanted her tossed around a ring for a while now, finally I will be able to watch it happen.

Lastly we have my all-time favorite reality veteran, child star, Dustin Diamond AKA Screech. People have loved and have hated this man over so many years. He has shown us that being a geek can actually be cool. He also showed us all what a dirty Sanchez really was. I’m putting my money of this man to win it all.

Judges for this show are Eric Bischoff, the man who created World Championship Wrestling, better known as WCW. Eric is also one of the producers of this oh so fine program. “The Mouth From The South” Jimmy Hart will be making his triumphant return to wrestling. One of the most popular managers for both WWE and WCW. The last judge and host of the program is the famous Hulk Hogan. Despite his divorce with large breasted wife, the incarceration of his drunk driving son, the shenanigans of his super hot daughter, he has found time to host, judge and produce Celebrity Championship Wrestling.

Along for the ride are Brian Knobbs, Tom Howard and the renowned Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. These big names in the wrestling industry will be the ones trying to teach the ‘stars’ of this program how to execute a suplex without breaking their own or anybody else’s necks.

Lil Nubi’s final opinion. I believe this will be an acceptable program, and since it will be on the Country Music Channel (CMT) it’ll probably get more viewers than any other show on that channel. Hitting your spectrovisions at the end of the year, it should be entertaining. Me, being a fan of wrestling and having a great hatred towards WWE, I’ll enjoy any alternative to it…except for that Wrestling Society X bullshit that was on MTV. Check it out and support your favorite has been celebrity. E-mail me any love mail, hate mail or any other mail you might have to GoodOlNubi@Gmail.Com and I’ll be sure to get right back to ya. You never know, make it good it might end up here. I’m Lil Nubi bringing you all of the greatest nonsense so you don’t have to get it yourself!

Lil Nubi

I'm kickin it Big Willy Style in New Jersey. Recently moved up here from Virginia Beach, Va. When I'm not keeping it real with the homies or the fly hunnies and sipping on the crunk juice, I'm checking out the latest movie films, checking out live shows and catching up on my dirty literature. If you need anything just shoot me an e-mail at LilNubi@RoyalFlushMagazine.Com and I'll be sure to reply...maybe...

2 Responses

  1. Steve Chanks says:

    oh man… that was painful to watch. It was like has-been on has-been crime.

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