A Means to a Unified LOST Theory

This past Tuesday aired the penultimate episode of LOST. Here’s a quick recap: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! Jacob outs himself as a sparkly vampire then transforms Jack Shepherd into a fluorescent werewolf in a sick and twisted Twilight-ized foot-fetish ceremony! The smoke monster is defeated by proper ventilation and a ceiling fan! Sawyer is revealed to be a double-secret-probation-secret-double-agent working for evil Benjamin Linus who is actually good Benjamin Linus! Fake Locke is...