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Dendrophiliac (n.) “One who is aroused by trees”

If a hippie cries and nobody cares, does the hippie really cry?

So, after watching the video I’m sure you have plenty to say…but you have to wait and hear what I have to say first! That’s the way we do it around here in the dirty dirty.

Clearly, these people are upset about the death of a tree. I’m upset too, not about the tree though. Those fine fine Americans are from North Carolina. I’m from Virginia. These people are practically my neighbors. Fun? No. Scary? Absolutely.

Now that we are in the season of the hurricane as of late, what happens when the wind knocks over a tree? Still murder? What about lightning crashing down, incinerating thousands of acres, turning it all to nothing more than a scorched Earth? Why are you not crying hippies!

I’d really like to know what these people eat. I’m sure they are vegetarians, but isn’t that murder as well? Does your lettuce not have the same feelings as that tree? Do tomatoes not scream while you impale into their precious bodies with your forks? How about the cucumbers? How do they feel while you devour their souls?

I’m going to mow the lawn now. Now is your time to speak your mind. Either e-mail me at GoodOlNubi@Gmail.Com or leave a comment below. Come on…all the cool kids are!

I’m Lil Nubi bringing you all the sappy, tree loving bullshit, so you don’t have to get it yourself!

By Lil Nubi

I'm kickin it Big Willy Style in New Jersey. Recently moved up here from Virginia Beach, Va. When I'm not keeping it real with the homies or the fly hunnies and sipping on the crunk juice, I'm checking out the latest movie films, checking out live shows and catching up on my dirty literature. If you need anything just shoot me an e-mail at LilNubi@RoyalFlushMagazine.Com and I'll be sure to reply...maybe...