Owen Wilson… It Ain’t All Shits and Giggles

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Owen Wilson… It Ain’t All Shits and Giggles

Shit can’t be good in tinsel town when “Mr. Happy Hollywood” himself, Owen Wilson tries to bow out.

Owen hit astronomic fame with his roles along side long time pal, Ben Stiller, and has always emoted a happy-go-lucky demeanor. His nice-guy attitude, boyish charm and busted nose give him that benign aura that makes the girls swoon.

But this weeks recent suicide attempt has definitely left us all wondering, “what the hell’s goin on?”. If someone like Wilson is at the end of his rope, what’s left for the rest of us? He seems to be living the charmed life for sure with such notable film characters as Zoolander‘s Hansell, the fun-loving drunk Eli Cash in The Royal Tenenbaums, and let’s not forget the love struck moocher, John Beckwith from The Wedding Crashers.

All these characters and more seem to add up to one cool, easy going dude who is in love with life but as we all should know… people are not who they play in movies. Look at Michael Richards. He slide awkwardly into our hearts as the oddball freeloader friend of Jerry Seinfeld making us laugh and say “I love that guy” but in actuality he’s a closet racist. Or Bob Saget, the excessively loving widower father of three from ABC’s Full House is actually a foul mouthed and even funny ordinary guy. So see, celebs are who they are, not who they play on TV.

But I must admit, reality checks of this caliber always leave me wondering “what next?”. Are we doomed to the realization that more celebrities are not who we believe? Shit, Tom Cruise has gone, or at least, finally revealed that he is certifiable, Mel Gibson hates the Jews, Phil Spector is a murderer… it’s all too much for me.

America needs more pre-suicide attempt Owen Wilsons. We need the good guy roll model. The guy that proves that nice guys DO finish last, especially with roll models like Michael Vick killing puppies and the Parises, Britneys, Lindseys DWIing and cluttering up the headlines. Kids and adults need someone to look at and root for, some one to see and say “I hope that nice gent steals the sweet, pretty girl from her dicky boyfriend.” We need to know that it pays to be good.
To Owen Wilson I say, get your shit together and keep America safe from the terrorism that is truly threatening our great society… the Hollywood Asshole.

-Steve Chanks